Best Intentions (or Preschool Hell)

I had decided to keep Thomas home after Christmas break. He was finally responding to the sign language I was teaching him, and was learning up to two signs a day. I didn't want to take him to school as it seemed he wasn't learning all that much since September. Also, they had only taught him two signs during that time. After much hemming and hawing, I finally took him back to school today. I wasn't sure he was getting everything he needed there, and I wasn't comfortable with all of the adults. Instead of keeping him home and teaching him, I thought I will stay in the classroom and I can continue what I've been teaching him while he gets services there. I had originally not stayed there because I felt I would distract him. So today I stayed, and by the end of the day regretted my decision.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a horrible experience (except for the crying child next door that lasted 30 minutes). But I am in tune with everything around me. It was too much input for me. All the personalities, and different needs of the children was just too much for me. I wanted to focus on Thomas, and he seemed perfectly content on his own. I feel like I should be there for him with his needs. On the other hand, I'm beginning to think that him being in school (for now until he is talking more) is something I will never be completely comfortable with. I am more protective of him because of his needs. I came home and literally collapsed from exhaustion, and I hardly did much. I guess the environment was just too much for me. It made me respect the teachers that do that that much more. That is a job I could not do all day four days a week.

I've been back and forth on this since December. Its one of the hardest decisions I've had to make regarding Thomas's education. I've leaned heavily on my mom, and Don and I have discussed all of this. He left the decision ultimately to me as I'm the Mom Taxi. It wasn't like this with Timothy. There was the adjustment period, but I think it is harder since Thomas is the baby, and the last one at that.