Einstein was a late talker

I couldn't be more pleased with Thomas' progress! He is talking more understandably every day. Most importantly are the sentences. He is using them much more. He calls his teachers "tee tee" so when we leave his school he says "Bye bye tee tee!" It is so adorable! We've also been working on his alphabet for a few months now and he already recognizes and says his letters up to R. I have a magnetic board with letters on it that were in alphabetical order. He jumbled them around and started bringing them to me in order while telling me what letter it was. (Yes I was so happy I almost cried.) Tomorrow Thomas will go on his first school field trip. We're going to Peninsula Gardens to get a pumpkin and have some Fall fun!

Timothy is also doing very well. He is a voracious reader. He brings home a different book almost every day. I guess surrounding him with books since birth helped... He's been watching shows on Netflix everyday like Drake and Josh and The Suite Life oh and iCarly too. Have I mentioned how much I hate the Disney Channel? I imagine this must be how my mom felt hearing the Wizard of Oz for the 900th time...

"They" don't know nuthin' about anything (or Don't argue with me when it comes to my kids)

I'll get down to brass tacks. We now know that Thomas has a form of speech apraxia. This is where everything makes sense in the brain, but the mouth cannot articulate it. It's referred to as a motor planning problem. Speech is actually a very complicated process that our brain/body carries out.

This came after months and months of waiting, incredible amounts of stress, more waiting, some "you should do this", blah blah blah. It all started when I took him to ChildFind in June 2008. Suggested by his primary care, it is a free screening that the school district does with their professionals (speech, OT, etc.) I figured this was a great place to start as we needed to know why his speech was behind. They rushed through their screening and then told me I wouldn't have any results until September. Now around his 3rd birthday (12/07) is when we began to realize his speech wasn't where it should be, not even close. So this meant even more waiting. September comes and they tell me essentially they have no idea why his speech is delayed. They also made observations from their rushed screening and alluded to me that he was possibly autistic. They wanted to place him in a developmental preschool. So he started going there and I waited to see if being there would help his speech. From Sept to Dec, he barely made any progress. I was frustrated and angry and I felt like I was in the dark with a dying flashlight. I didn't know where to turn or who to ask questions. A storm hit before winter break and he had to miss a week of school. They had told me about the ONE sign they had taught him and a light bulb when off. I thought maybe signing would help. He would get so frustrated because he couldn't communicate his wants and needs to us. I desperately needed something to help him. So for the next two weeks I taught myself and him signs, roughly two a days. He ate it up, he was like a little sponge. All of a sudden, he was saying words he had never said before and his frustration all but disappeared.

January comes and he's supposed to go back. I was feeling torn. Part of me wanted him to have that experience, yet I knew that he wasn't improving while there. I decided to keep him home and continue with the sign language. I tried taking him back in April, but after a week he just didn't want to go anymore. I mean REALLY didn't want to go. So we just continued what we were doing at home. They said "See you next year.." I said "We'll see..."
Meanwhile we were on a waiting list for a developmental pediatrician at Mary Bridge. We got on the list about Jan 09, and finally got word we had an appointment August 09. Now this whole time I would talk to others and field questions about his speech. I got tired of having to tell people he wasn't autistic. People are so quick to assume based off a few observations, and have this need to label children. I would keep my cool while face to face with these people, but privately I would melt into a puddle of tears. Some nights I would lie awake in bed wondering if I was responsible for his speech delay. Did I do something wrong or maybe I had made the wrong choices and what if he never talked right and on and on. I just took it down to one day at a time. I kept a journal to track his speech improvements with me and he made many leaps and bounds, all thanks to one on one and sign language. (side note* they say children with motor planning difficulties have trouble signing...they haven't met Thomas have they :P )

So now its August 09. We get into Mary Bridge and see the developmental ped. I bring my journal and all other documentation to add to what I already sent in the required packet of paper to get this appointment. For the next two hours, I basically recount Thomas' entire life to this point. (Normal pregnancy-check, normal birth-check, every developmental milestone met (except speech) CHECK) He listens to everything we tell him all while observing Thomas. I tell him about the ChildFind and he agrees with my assessment that they thought he was autistic (but legally they can't just come out and say it). I told him I don't like people talking in code or alluding to anything, I just want the facts. He says to me "I have to tell people everyday that something is wrong with their child. I have to tell them if their child is autistic. Thomas is NOT autistic." He officially diagnosed him with an isolated speech delay and gave us a referral for a speech therapist. I had feelings I could not describe welling up inside me. We left his office and went downstairs for some bloodwork. He wanted to test him for Fragile X (which is a genetic disorder, retardation). He didn't think he had it, but wanted the test to prove it was ruled out. I went into the bathroom with Thomas and began to cry. For once they were tears of joy. I just grabbed Thomas and hugged him tightly (stopping when he said OW...lol) and held onto that moment. I just kept saying "I knew it, I KNEW it..."

So now it's Sept 09. The school calls planning for Thomas to come back. They changed his teacher and I end up talking to her for over an hour explaining the last year of events. I agree to come in and update his IEP (individualized education plan) since it had to be done by 9/11. Otherwise they have to start ALL OVER. So we go in and armed with all my knowledge of the last year...I outline exactly what I expect of the school. I am very aware of what their limitations and what they can provide. It was a great meeting and I left feeling much better about Thomas attending school. He has changed so much in the last year and preschool is going to help him in ways I cannot at home.

Before he starts school he meets the speech therapist for the first time. He does great and is able to display his speech for her. She diagnoses him and will be seeing him once a week, in addition to the speech therapy he'll get at school (which by the way, I made sure he got the max). He communicates a lot, he always has. The difference when he talks in a stream he is unintelligible. Words are in there, you just have to listen closely.

So he started school and he LOVES it! I think it has a lot to do with the new teacher. I also had her come over for a home visit so he was more familiar with her before school started. Second day of school he drops my hand takes hers and looks at me and says "BYE!!" This has been the case every day since. He has made the transition from Mom to school all on his own. I tell you, it's been a hell of a ride at times. I already knew I would do anything for my kids, that was a given. But this experience with Thomas made me realize I would move the Earth if I had to. I had to go through mental HELL to get where I am today, but I am stronger and I can pass that on to my kids to make them stronger.

So the next person that says autistic to me...gets a verbal fist to the face. ;)

Bring on Summer

So I was already stressing about what to do for Thomas' education. Then I get a call from Timothy's teacher saying he needs help. Like he's two grades behind in math and reading comprehension help. They wanted to do some testing to see where he's at and what they need to do to help. He's an excellent reader and has a large vocabulary for his age. They call it "word calling". But when it comes to comprehension, he needs help. Well they did their tests and are moving forward with a plan of action. I really liked how the psychologist described Timothy as an "enjoyable youngster". I was uncomfortable with the OT's assessment and had to keep in mind he was just observing things in a general way. Yes, Timothy fidgets and fiddles with his ears and most times does not sit real still in a chair (mostly when he's not interested). This is all NORMAL. He's a nine year old boy for cripes sake. Show me one that sits still! Two pages of the report was dedicated to describing ways to manage the fidgets and any other sensory overload. Whatever happened to just making a kid sit in their chair and keep their hands to themselves? What is the purpose of placating and coddling them to make things softer and easier. What does that teach them? But I digress...

He is at a wonderful school with talented and educated staff that truly care for him. That is one thing I can say for living in a small community like we do. Our elementary school is the farthest out on the peninsula. It's like a big family really; everybody knows everybody and there are no secrets. At least none that can be kept for very long. ;)

After a lot of waiting and pages of paperwork, I finally have an appointment for Thomas with a developmental pediatrician in August. He has been doing so well at home. I am so amazed with his growth. I am beginning to see better each day what areas he is lacking in. At the same time however, he is learning so much everyday. My goal is to keep catching him up and see where he is in September. He won't be old enough for kindergarten, so he'd have to attend preschool again. I hope to get him caught up enough to attend Evergreen with Timothy. Then he could work with the specialists there. I went over his paperwork again. He was only getting 3 hours a month of speech at his school. As behind as he was, this was entirely not enough. They are only capable of so much though, and they cannot work with him one on one like I can.

So this is the condensed version, but you get the idea. I am thinking positively about the upcoming school year. Timothy will be a fourth grader! Thomas will be a preschooler (again)! First, we have the summer ahead of us. This is going to be a summer unlike any before it. We are going to try something new called STRUCTURE. We're also going to have a SCHEDULE. Timothy will be starting something new called CHORES. Yes, we have a busy summer ahead of us. Let's see how long it lasts. :)

Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde

I keep telling myself I should know better. I should know things can change at any moment. I am so aware of what my kids came from... :P

The last two days, Thomas has refused to go to school. I wouldn't call it "refusal behavior". When I told him lets get ready for school, he just hollered, "Nooooooo..." over and over. This is after he ran back to his bedroom and buried himself under his blankets. I tried to coerce him for 15 to 20 minutes, reminding him how much fun he has at school and his favorite things to do there. Nothing. He won't budge. Each time I say "school", he says "Noooooo". He's been in a perfectly fine mood, and he's not sick anymore. It appears after Spring Break that he genuinely doesn't want to go back to school. I can't imagine why after how much fun he has there. We've been pretty active at home outside with the beautiful weather turn. He's enjoying playing and just walking around the yard picking flowers. I'm not sure what to do about the school thing. He's not starved of learning, I'm teaching him stuff everyday. To quote a movie line from a favorite actor, "I'm sure a solution will present itself."

Time for Some Quiet

Thomas was home sick all last week. I had grown accustomed to getting that 2 1/2 hours to myself when he's at school. I like it quite a bit actually. I love having him home, he's really quiet and will play legos or whatever else he likes. It wasn't until the end of the week, I realized I missed that time. Once you get a taste of something...So finally he is feeling better. I took him to school today. It took about 15 minutes of convincing him to get ready, he kept saying "No go, no go." Finally we were on our way. I especially like Timothy's contribution: "Thomas you were home all last week so you have to go today. Its not fair if you get to stay home and I don't!" Sometimes stuff can be a fight if he just plain doesn't want to do it. I found that if I just stay positive and remind him how much fun he has at school, he'll want to go. He does like it a lot. I think he just got spoiled after a week at home. Don and I finally caught the bug after a week, but I don't think it will last long.

Timothy's conference went well. Basically same thing different day. He has trouble focusing sometimes. I know that he has a lot going on is his brain. I can guarantee when he's at school, he's not thinking about school. I'm glad that he is the same kid at school that he is at home. SO when she is tellling us about him, we just nod our heads in understanding. Math is a struggle for him as it gets harder. This is something we expected, as neither of us did well with math in school. He's really in a great school though, and they will do everything they can to help him succeed. Fourth grade is approaching fast!

Next week is Spring Break! Yay! Oh wait, that means I don't get my 2 1/2 hours....Hmmm....going to have to send the boys to Grandmas house for some Me time.

The Lazy Mother

Recently I asked Timothy a series of questions to see how much he knew about me. One question was, "What is your mom really good at?" He then turned to me and asked "Are you good at cleaning the kitchen?"

Family Genes

I couldn't be happier. Thomas is doing AWESOME in preschool. Turns out my instincts were right, and now when I drop him off, he turns around and says "BYE!" He is participating a lot and his teachers inform me he is talking more to them. He was starting to get lazy here and not want to use his words. I know that he has it in him. I truly think that he is just stubborn. Big surprise considering who he came from right?

Something I need to get out of the way. It has been mentioned before and again as of late by relatives that Thomas might be autistic. This is not the case. He has been evaluated by numerous professionals, and this has never been a concern. Based on his history, our reports, and professionals findings, they determined that he is simply age delayed with his talking. When I would say in the past "he's not talking" I realize now how people must have misunderstood that, especially those that have not met him. What I was saying is that he wasn't talking at whatever level was age appropriate. However, he has always communicated with us. So he's taking his time with talking and I can't complain. Timothy hasn't shut up since he started talking... :)

Speaking of Timothy, he is doing well at school also. He is still doing his math and pottery after school, and is now going to a Toast Masters class. This teaches the kids how to write for speaking, and speaking in front of a group. They work on nipping stage fright in the bud before it even starts. Its a wonderful program. I work hard on helping him stay focused during the week on school as he is waiting for the weekend to arrive so he can play video games. When we started playing a computer game in December, we weren't going to let him play for awhile. But Dad caved before me and he is now geeking out with us. What have we created? :)